Wanted: new waitress for Missy’s Diner. Qualified applicants must possess a basic knowledge of ornithology and a willingness to bird watch without knocking over every item on Mum-mum’s desk. Preference will be given to felines who do not squeak at, paw at, or otherwise startle their avian customers. For more information, contact Miss Mess at 1-800-CATBIRD. (Squirt need not apply.)